As women, we have many roles to fill. Wife, Mother, Single Mother, Employee, Daughter, Sister, Friend. All of these roles fighting for priority with a sense of urgency. As Mother’s are designed as emotional creatures, we are driven beyond our potentials and capabilities in the name of Love. We accomplish more in one day than most do in a week, because we are pouring out consistently and daily in multiple roles. We are spread so thin that we feel we have no choice but to sacrifice ourselves, because we no longer consider ourselves a priority.
The oxymoron is that when we put ourselves last and continue to Wonderwoman/ Superwoman through the day, we deplete the very resources that are needed to Wonderwoman/ Superwoman. We begin pouring from an empty cup, being stretched thin and something, somewhere or someone suffers and we transform into Tiredwoman. As much strength as love provides us with, we can not be everything to everybody, everywhere at all times.
We fight with guilt and regret when we do something for ourselves and/ or by ourselves creating a discomfort that perpetuates the cycle of self sacrificing. However, it is of vital importance to fill our buckets to replenish ourselves, the way we fill our loved ones buckets. We have to quell the feelings of guilt and regret utilizing the inner dialogue that it is in both our best interests and our families best interest to sustain ourselves so that we can continue to fulfill our roles effeciently and effectively. We need avenues of rest and recovery, stress management, hobbies, play, enjoyment and pleasure, loving and supportive relationships, balanced life and healthy boundaries.
Sounds great in theory but where do you fit it in? How do you find the time, the place, the funds? This balancing act is not for the faint of heart and requires consistent practice, focus and rearrangement. But it is possible.
Here are some tips to simultaneously balance your roles in life in the midst of a busy schedule with due diligence to your individual personhood.
1) Use drive time to listen to calming music or affirmation cd’s.
2) Listen to binaural music ( youtube) during your work day.
3) Use natural sunlight as much as possible if your office or workplace has windows.
4) Stare into nature, choose and observe the details of an object for 3-5 minutes nonstop.
5) Utilize aromatherapy with a diffuser in your home space and office space.
6) Pick 3 favorite affirmations. Post on your desk, computer and in your car.
7) Walk during breaks for 10 minutes to exert physical stress and release endorphins.
8) Create a dream team of 2-3 safe trustworthy reciprocal relationships for support. Release stressful relationships.
9) Investigate virtual counseling and schedule with a therapist while at work during your lunch hour once a week.
10) Use bath time as spa time. Create your own spa setting with bath salts, herbs, essential oils and calming light display that changes colors while listening to calming music.
11) Create habit of snuggle time with your children while reading to them to bond. Oxytocin is produced and released while bonding, cuddling, hugging or touching someone you love.
12) Create habit of snuggle time with significant other for same reasons mentioned in 11.
13) Watch movies or tv shows that illicit euphoric, hopeful feelings.
14) Hydrate with water, eat as much raw foods as possible, eliminate unhealthy and harmful habits.
15) Identify things you enjoyed about the day on your way to sleep.
16) Pick one fun enjoyable thing and do it a minimum of once a month.
17) Utilize apps such as Pacifica as a journal to express your thoughts and identify feelings while waiting in lines.
Implement these tips one by one. As one become a habit, introduce another. Repeat.
Fill and Replenish your bucket,